I agree with you that play is an important part of learning and kids need to explore the world and take risks without adults hovering over them. But the idea of "kids being kids" is an incredibly modern one, one that didn't really exist up until a hundred years or so. Children across most cultures in the world had much stricter expectations for behavior. Toddlers were taught to help with cooking, 8 year olds were taking care of livestock before the sun came up. Girls would spend entire days helping their mothers wash clothes while the boys helped their dad plow the fields. At 14 a kid would be old enough to go to war, but most would consider him too old to become a sailor, something you really should start at least by 12. I don't mind at all that we have extended childhood, but it's an oddity of the modern world.
Also, sleep has been shown to be one of the most important things for kids, so I'm fine with stopping the YouTube so they can sleep.
I think you're right about the historical trend of extending childhood, but I think that was mostly out of necessity. If you were able to work the farm, your family needed you to do so in order to survive, especially if you were a minority. On the other hand, many of those tasks were truly enjoyable for those children. They didn't have YouTube or TopGolf. But they were also forced to do these things most the time--that aspect of childhood has been the single constant.
My point with this article is to acknowledge the real progress and freedom granted to children since the dawn of humanity, of course, but that our job isn't over yet. Even if childhood is longer, and they have more freedom and opportunity, it's not saying much when their entire lives are still controlled by someone claiming to be a loving caretaker. If we want children to enjoy being children, we shouldn't make them act like adults. We should foster their passions and support them. I don't even mean adults need to get out the way; I'm saying stop being a hurdle to children enjoying themselves. Be a part of the fun, create safer more educational ways for them to have fun. This is always possible with reason and creativity and patience, too often we opt for force because it's easier. But it's not easier for the kids!
Sleep is a great example! Sleep is one of the most important things in a person's life, much less a child's. So you're right about that. However, the importance of sleep or food or whatever means adults should be helping kids understand the importance with reason, not force. Forcing a kid to sleep doesn't teach them about the benefits of sleep, the tradeoffs, the best times and ways for them to sleep with their priorities and responsibilities and interests. When your kid goes to college or moves in with a partner, no one will be there to make them sleep and wake up "on time". It's just a different way of thinking about solving problems! I hope I could provide some answers and insights here. Thanks so much for reading and engaging with this piece, it's a really important philosophy to me.
I agree with you that play is an important part of learning and kids need to explore the world and take risks without adults hovering over them. But the idea of "kids being kids" is an incredibly modern one, one that didn't really exist up until a hundred years or so. Children across most cultures in the world had much stricter expectations for behavior. Toddlers were taught to help with cooking, 8 year olds were taking care of livestock before the sun came up. Girls would spend entire days helping their mothers wash clothes while the boys helped their dad plow the fields. At 14 a kid would be old enough to go to war, but most would consider him too old to become a sailor, something you really should start at least by 12. I don't mind at all that we have extended childhood, but it's an oddity of the modern world.
Also, sleep has been shown to be one of the most important things for kids, so I'm fine with stopping the YouTube so they can sleep.
I think you're right about the historical trend of extending childhood, but I think that was mostly out of necessity. If you were able to work the farm, your family needed you to do so in order to survive, especially if you were a minority. On the other hand, many of those tasks were truly enjoyable for those children. They didn't have YouTube or TopGolf. But they were also forced to do these things most the time--that aspect of childhood has been the single constant.
My point with this article is to acknowledge the real progress and freedom granted to children since the dawn of humanity, of course, but that our job isn't over yet. Even if childhood is longer, and they have more freedom and opportunity, it's not saying much when their entire lives are still controlled by someone claiming to be a loving caretaker. If we want children to enjoy being children, we shouldn't make them act like adults. We should foster their passions and support them. I don't even mean adults need to get out the way; I'm saying stop being a hurdle to children enjoying themselves. Be a part of the fun, create safer more educational ways for them to have fun. This is always possible with reason and creativity and patience, too often we opt for force because it's easier. But it's not easier for the kids!
Sleep is a great example! Sleep is one of the most important things in a person's life, much less a child's. So you're right about that. However, the importance of sleep or food or whatever means adults should be helping kids understand the importance with reason, not force. Forcing a kid to sleep doesn't teach them about the benefits of sleep, the tradeoffs, the best times and ways for them to sleep with their priorities and responsibilities and interests. When your kid goes to college or moves in with a partner, no one will be there to make them sleep and wake up "on time". It's just a different way of thinking about solving problems! I hope I could provide some answers and insights here. Thanks so much for reading and engaging with this piece, it's a really important philosophy to me.
Great article. Makes sense.